No angel, no monster. Just you.

I shock you
with my world of emotions,
with my anger and my pain.

I surprise you
with the fact that I wasn't bluffing.
That the pain is real and not going anywhere.

I pain you
with not accepting, not giving you what you want.
What you thought was easily acquired.

But you want to have it all.
You want the easy way out, for you.
You move on and expect me to have as easy a ride.

You never understood the choice you forced onto me.
All of the choices. Because you were never there.
Because you have never really cared.
Because you want as long as you get resistance,
and find limitations when you arrive at your goal.
Because you are too cowardly to face a hard time.
My hard time. Your own hard time, self-inflicted.

So my rage shocks you.
But you brought it onto yourself.
You pushed me into that frame of mind.
You pushed me around.
You pushed me too far.
And what really shocks you
is the fact that somewhere deep inside
you know that you did this.
You made a monster out of me, in your head, 
when all I wanted to be was your angel.

I have been here before.

My past lines teach me.
My past life calls out.
Not to have me sulk and cry
over what is beyond my reach.

But to realise
I have been here before.
And I somehow managed.
I made it through, and none of it
left more than a scar on
this heart of mine,
that can love and live
and smile
and love like no other.

So come on,
throw your worst at me.
If you can't take care of me,
then teach me my lesson.
Make me stronger than you will
ever be yourself,
and throw your worst at me.
I can take it.

I have been here before,
and I managed last time.

Soon you will be but a scar
I wear with pride.
Not for you, but for me.

I have been here before
and just like today I knew
it wouldn't be the last time.
But I will manage.